Manly Bike For sale
Just got this in my email, another amazing craigslit post.
Bike for sale
What kind of bike? I don’t know, I’m not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you’re way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan’s mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying “FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME”.
The bike says Giant on the side because it’s referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.
The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that’s bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you’re going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you’re probably a dickless lizard who doesn’t like to look intimidating.
The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you’re going to love this thing because it doesn’t try to penetrate your ass or anything.
I’ve topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you’re just a regular man you’ll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:
Gear 1 – Sissy Gear
Gear 2 – Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 – Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 – Boy Gear
Gear 5 – Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 – Manly Gear
Gear 7 – Big Muscles Gear
I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.
Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull’s testicles and tells people you don’t fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves “Hey asshole, touch this bike and I’ll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four”.
Bike is for 150 OBO (and don’t give me no panzy prices)
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html
Livestock x NiceKicks Contest
2009 Staff Picks
Check it. Heres some of the favorites from the livestock staff from 2009!
Cyrus -
with so many damn fine items that came out this year, one of my favorites had to be the apparel end of the adidas X KZK program, who would have thought to create a waterproof zippered, taped seams, fully waterproof pea-coat and flannel? the concept alone got me but the execution was spot on.
sticking with the waterproofing , so appropriate for the pacific northwest, the double swede shoe collabo of tretorn and sneakers n’ stuff (SNS). full gore-tex, rip-stop nylon and 3M piping, it’s the perfect cycling function and silhouette.
Dan -
My favorite release- would prob be the gucci inspired east coast Nike Dunk Hi Supreme spark le. Also liked the BO Jackson series. The OG SC is bad ass.
Los -
Definitely the Nike Air Trainer SC. These bad boys came out this past fall and hands down is my pick of the year. I used to have these when they first released in 1990 and fell in love with the model ever since. They also retroed in 1998 and now once again in 2009, so you know i had to cop these! All the OG heads and newbies alike can appreciate a good design/colorway when it passes by. Lets hope i can say the Black/Grey Bo’s with his ‘34′ number on the back will be my fave of 2010.
Jason-
How can i pick just one? So I wont… I have to say that the yeezy releases were madness! We had a week line up for all 3 releases! I’m also a big BMX fan, so when The Hundreds x SE racing released the 26′ PK RIPPER, i was pretty pumped. And also pretty much anything Play Cloths does, its a dope brand and a great collection for their first year! And clipse are mad cool whenever they come by the shop!
Victoria-
My favorite releases of the year have to be the Jordan True Blue 3 and the soon to be Space Jams. My 2 favorite Jordans. Always wanted them but could never get my hands on them. I love the ice sole on the Space Jams, probably my favorite part of the shoe.
Levi –
Mine would have to be from Gshock, more specifically the Redman 591 and mr. cartoon 6900! When I first heard we were getting them in, I didn’t think much of it, but when I saw them at first in person I knew I had to grab em’ both! Oh, and the newest release from New balance with Sneaker Freaker is so sick! One of the best from NB this year.
Ryan –
One of my favorite shoes for the year would definitely be the Adidas porter x nizza, for putting their own spin on an already dope silhouette. Also the Nike Moire Grey am90 current hybrid, although i wish the black released in Canada, i gladly settled for the grey counterpart. Cleaning lines, greatest comfort, no compromise.
Brian Wherry
Brian wherry is our guy down in gstwn on weekdays ever since cy sissy’d out and had kids. i asked him once “yo wherry, cover a saturday shift for me?” he replied “ah, i don’t really want to…”. i guess we all know why. evidence below. good call not picking up that shift homie, it was well worth it!
GUU IN TORONTO!!
With 3 successful restaurants under their belt our good friends over at GUU have now opened up shop in Toronto. With chefs trained in Japan, they now bring authenticity to a city already rich in ethnic cuisine. If you haven’t been to one of the three locations in Vancouver we highly recommend GUU as a place to bring a date or even host an Xmas party. The staff, food, drinks and overall vibe are some of the best we ever experienced. We wanted to send a huge congrats to the entire GUU team…..I’m sure Toronto will embrace you with arms wide open!
